"...Dennis (the beating man) says that in almost eighty years I will be able to have an hour off, but that I must use it down at the depot, washing ‘the evil stains’ (as he calls them) from his mind”- Philip Alien

“...These city cats – fat, biscuit-eating foot cozies.  Best ratters are farmyard cats that work for a living!”- Arthur Alliums

"You know, it’s a very hard life being a super villain…” – Baron Shit

“I gave you a big plate of Bourbon creams and drugged you with one in particular that had been laced with chloroform.  I had to watch you eat a whole big plate of them for a whopping ten minutes, all the while hinting and saying things like ‘Why don’t you try the one that smells a bit chemically?’ before you finally took the bait!” – Mr Conniving-Bastard