Richard Barry: Right, let’s get to the meat.  Cut the obfuscation.  Relinquish ambiguity. Immolate all modesty and masticate for a moment, the indigestible pips of uncertainty.  Have we all done that?  Now, spit!  I’m a musician, writer, quizmaster, voice-over artiste, bon viveur, and now sketch writer and actor.  Cor blimey!  How’s it going? Great!  I’ve written thousands of songs, poems and silly things.  I’ve supported, in concert, Bob Geldof, Kiki Dee, Midge Ure, Fairport Convention and Dr Feelgood, to name a few.  Although that was when I was young, thin and beautiful, and before the clouds came.  I’ve done adverts for Mortal Kombat, Camelot, York Viking Centreand once stood in for Leslie Philips! I think he was having his bladder changed!  I perform regularly all over the country, or at least did before my hands went gammy! I have recorded dozens of albums, some of which may become available while I’m still green side of the sod. I’m Welsh (invoking law of jus sanguinis), and had a successful childhood -  accent bashed out of me at school in England.  Learnt to love and embrace life, then learnt to narrow my eyes at its capriciousness. And although sometimes I’d like to pull out my own hypothalamus with a pair of those retractable toy claws I used to enjoy playing with as a boy, I’ll still try and entertain you with guitar, ukulele, abusive ad-libs and well-crafted sketches, which by now should be spilling in to your ears. Yours, moved to tears, Richard